Appraisal

I have been appraised four times in my career. Each time has been a surprise.Nothing new, everyones' is, but then once it has been a pleasent surprise. Shocked you ? We have all grown to hate the word as much as we hated our principal's remarks on our report card or Himesh Reshmiya's nastral chatings on a cool sunday morning.
So there I was conducting the appraisals, fully aware of the mental images my sales exes are painting and the stuff that couldnt gather the courage to come out. This giy sitting infront of me has worked more hours than me, had an experience greater than my age ( i m trying to understate my age and not overstate his exp) and could beat the crap out of me in terms of business knowledge. This is an interesting scenario.
Me: Do you think you have performed to your potential ? ( haaah .. got him .. if he says yes .. his potential gets undermined and if he says no he is screwed anyways) and also ( i dont hv a F***ing idea of what he did last year and I just want to know that what he did was his KRA)
SE : I have tried my level best sir (tell me to sell some more threads but dont ask me these questions)
Me : But is this the best results that your efforts cud have got ? ( u moron .. dont play with words with me .. i have been trained to do that and just that)
SE : Yes sir, with my limited powers I have done the best I could ( bugger .. tell me the raise i will get and leave me alone .. this is some time u r wasting)
Me: We all work under some constraints and we have to make best use of it. ( Bugger is brining power into it . he wants all responsibilty and power .. what does he think he is ? spiderman ?)
SE : I understand sir ( like i am working under the constraint of u being my boss) but i trust u will have a fair idea of my work and are the best judge.
Me : Yes yes .. i am .. ummmm... i am .. yeah why not .. ummm ( bugger .. threw the ball in my court didnt he). So why havent you delivered in the month of november ? that was a 'crucial' month for us.
SE : But sir I have more than made it up in rest of the months ( &*%$ .. of all the months he found only this one .. i hope he doesnt find out that i was on leave then)
Me : but november was so crucial ( has he ?? i havent even bothered to check that, had to watch some shows)
SE : sorry to let you down sir ( the sooner i say it the lesser painful its going to be)
Me : huh .. its okay .. u have done decently in other months ( oh crap !!)
SE : ( this is what i have been trying to say you moron)
Me : ( Why does he look like he knows something more than me?)
Me : So why were your market visits so low ? ( oh god .. wot will i answer to this question in my appraisal )
SE : Sir .. i was in bed rest for 3 months in the year coz i was trying to complete the visits targets on a sunday, got hit by a car and had multiple fracture. ( its almost like the pizza hut guy trying to take the pizza in time on a friday eveing in bangalore)
Me : U still had 9 months to do that ( i can reproduce in that time !!)
SE : I will try sir ( can you please take my schedule and show how !!!)
Me : Good ( haah .. cot ya !! .. or did i :-?)
... 3 hrs later
Me :So you think C is a decent grade for you ?
SE: If you say so sir ( please forgive me and let me go to my family )
Me: Glad that we agreed. This shows our team bonding and loyalty.