Apple, somehow has always been a male obsession. Once we blamed it on Eve, now we blame it on MicroSoft. Blaming is something we males are better at than females, one thing we "blame" them for. But thats another story another day. So, keep one thing at a tantalisingly close distance and warn a man not to reach for it and he will, without and iota of doubt he will itch to death if he doesnt. Same with over priced ultra comlicated apple products. Out of reach in terms of price, just about to be fully controled technology and the rich love it and the geeks love it. Rich has always been cool and somehow i sense geek is cool these days ( god save the world). So applying all these theories in my subconsiousness I reached out for the ipod. That is because I might miss out on some music in some fatal second of my day ispite of channel v/m/vh1 etc .. laptop speakers, ear plugs, mobile, car audio, and I just couldnt take that chance.
It has been a week since then and all I have done is try to load some music on it. The main purpose now is not listenign to songs, its listening to them on ipod. The funny little device, where you have to move your thumb round to scrool because apprently the ancient way of scrolling by pressing was too much of excercise for the thumbs and also because it was pretty darn easy !! Who wants to do easy stuff when you have to option to complicate it ? Human development is the perfect example of how to complicate things, so that we can solve that complication later with another complicated thing and give away a nobel prize for that. My struggle with ipod still continues, which I am about to give up. Yes yes .. you heard it right, I am about to give up and ipod and please its no crime. And too all the geeks who want to laugh at me, I bet you cant shoot the ball in the net even if you were inside the goal post ( inspite of all your pretence about your interest in football WC and your superlative knowledge showoffs via wikipedia), so shut the fuck up.
This is an account of how the proceedings went.
Me : hey ipod .. so happy that i finally laid my hands in u
ipod: dude .. keep ur labour class hands away from me, show me u can spend more than an average indian's annual income for music, which thechnically u hv no idea about.
Me: huh . .. here it is .. the plastic money .. now i m ur master. ( please dont let my card be overlimit)
ipod: ( he he .. u wish)
Me: cool box .. sleek .. hmm .. apple does know how to make things. (i will be an outcast if i dont like it .. rite? )
ipod : i know i m awesome, people have told that to me for like zillion times. my competition is beaten by my awesomeness. i am the rajnikanth of music players !!
Me : So how do i listen to u.
ipod : do u have a macbook ? ( u filthy labour class .. i bet u dont.. u cant afford it)
Me : ummm nope .. but i do hv an hp
ipod : haaah ! hp .. how LS !! good luck then ( bugger will either waste the money spent on me .. or will spend another 100K)
Me : I knw I have to download i tunes. so i did that already.
ipod : check for updates u moron, dont u know, we give 10% of time for users to use our products .. rest of the time is utilised in more productives works like installing updates and putting patches.
Me : hmmm impressive .. kaizan i see .. continous improvement !!
ipod : now charge me.
i huff and puff .. and sweat some
Me: shit the guys didnt give a charger it seems
ipod: cant you see the data cable ? i can be charged by a laptop only as of now... to make things convinient for u. u just have to plug in ur laptop and then wait for it to boot and then u hv to plug me in so that i get charged. contratry to ur middle class habit of just plugging in the device that is to be charged. i am luxury item, u need to carry a 5 kg bag of laptop with u if u want to carry me. there are again normal chargers in the market, but we dont give them lest it should increase the convinience levels.
Me : oh ok ... cool .. charging via laptop .. no issues any way i m infornt of it most of the times. ( errmmm... )
ipod : (he he .. u dont knw what u r up against)
Me : i conect u and itunes opens automatically, rite ?
ipod : yes yes .. first i tunes will open and then i will give u errors every time u connect me. there will be different numbers for it. u will go mad searching for solutions in the net for the errors .. but all of them will be for macbook. each time i will throw up a random number to humour u. we have delebrately not made it to be in a format where u can directly copy an mp3 in the device. that will be too middle class. even if u manage to sync it .. the next time i will erase all data .. its a fun game.. lets play..
Me : it cant be that hard..
ipod: error (-50)
5 days have passed and the ipod has kept its promise.
Apple and Steve Jobs .. i m returning this ipod .. and yes also .. "UP YOURS" !!
